The professionals at Chosen Parents Adoptions have been working in the field of adoptions for 35 years. In that time, there have been periodic cases of expectant mothers testing positive for sexually transmitted diseases. The most common have been genital herpes and chlamydia. Recently , in the past 6 months , we have seen an alarming upsurge in cases of syphilis and gonorrhea. Up until this time, we may have dealt with one or two cases out of several thousand births. We have had three expectant mothers test positive in the last 30 days, for one or both of those diseases , which tells us that this is something that adopting parents should research while awaiting their adoption match , so that they are prepared in the case that they need to make a decision.
End of Life for Premature Baby Girl ?
One of our Client attorneys tells the story of an Hispanic couple that gave birth to a baby girl that was 3 months premature. The couple spoke only Spanish , and there was no bilingual nurse or social worker available, so the couple’s teen aged daughter served as the interpreter between her parents and the doctors.
The scene was grave. The doctors explained that due to brain bleeds and from being on oxygen , their child would suffer from severe brain damage and would most likely never walk or learn to speak. She would probably need a feeding tube her entire life. They asked if the parents wanted to allow the baby girl to succumb peacefully , or if they wanted them to do what they could to ensure her survival, now that they knew what the quality of life would be. They explained that there were families available that would be willing to adopt her even with the extreme disabilities , if they did not feel that they were capable of raising her. They needed an immediate answer.
After the daughter explained this to her parents , they spoke softly to each other for a few minutes , and with tears , her father told his daughter in Spanish that they believed that it was best that they let the baby go to heaven.
Their daughter walked over to the doctors , and said that her parents had chosen life, and to please do whatever they could to save her.
Our client personally knows the family that has adopted her. She is now a healthy and happy normal 5 year old
“Giving Up Your Baby For Adoption ” Or ” You are Not Giving Up ” ?
We recently received an inquiry from an adoption professional that was offended by our use of the phrase ” give baby up for adoption”. The following is their dialogue.
” As an adoption professional who has recently learned of your services, I wanted to contact you regarding the verbiage used on your website. Many members of the adoption triad bristle at the term “gave up a child” and it is considered outdated terminology in our field. I want to refer clients to your website, but I cannot do so with the terms used regarding making an adoption plan. Please take a moment to review the following links for more on this topic.
www.bravelove.org/our_words_
adoption.com/i-did-not-give-
www.parents.com/parenting/
It is my hope that all birth moms are treated with respect and honor when making a plan and reassured the last thing they are doing is “giving up”. I know we can say those are just words, but words can be extremely important when discussing something as significant as adoption. ”
Below is Chosen Parents Adoptions response .
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your opinion. I am very familiar with the marketing term ” You are not giving up” . It was a phrase that was coined by an adoption agency’s marketing department in order that the expectant mother believe that she is doing something other than giving her child up for adoption . We choose to tell expectant mothers the truth .
We do not believe in sugar coating the process of child placement with manipulative and subliminal terminology . When a woman places a child for adoption she GIVES UP … Her legal rights to her child. She gives up the right to raise her child, visit her child , and speak to her child. She gives up physical custody of her child.
The link that you forwarded states that the definition of “giving up ” as
1. Cease making an effort; resign oneself to failure.
May I ask where you obtained that definition? It is not a definition that is used in any dictionary. Why ? Once again , because it was a marketing term that was made up by an adoption agency that profits from women that give their babies up for adoption. We suppose to influence expectant mothers into believing that they are not losing or giving anything up .
Webster’s Dictionary’s definition states that to give up is a verb and the meaning is “to yield control or possession of “.
Certainly a very accurate description of the process of child placement , don’t you think ?
Because we are aware of the reasoning behind , ” “You are not giving up..” we will continue the oh-so-outdated verbiage which we feel adequately reflects to expectant mothers the gravity of their decision and will make sure that , through the attorneys that they are advised by , they understand fully what they are giving up.
Marcus W.
Adoption Service ” Social Worker ” Arrested for Adoption Fraud Scheme
Tara Lee , the owner of “Always Hope” Adoptions has been arrested for allegedly bilking adopting families out of thousands of dollars. Please remember to hire only LICENSED adoption agencies and attorneys for your adoption journey . If in doubt , ask for a copy of their credentials. There are bad eggs that are licensed as well, but the risk may be lessened as they have made an investment in their business. Chosen Parents Adoptions offers their heartfelt sympathy for those adoptive parents that have been victimized.