Chosen Parents Adoptions will post questions as they come up. Some questions may not pertain to your case, but if you read the answer you may find valuable information that will ultimately give you answers down the road. These tend to be questions that are unique and that is why the page is called infrequently asked questions. Answers to frequently asked questions hopefully are answered throughout our informational site.
We only want a girl as we have 4 biological boys . The ultrasound on the case that we are matched with states that our expectant mother is having a girl. What should we do if the baby turns out to be a boy ?
Answer : Most people that adopt do so because they do not have the choice of having a biological child. In your case, there is a chance that, even if you were able to have more biological children, your husband may have fewer x chromosomes , and very little chance of ever having a girl. In essence, you have had no control over producing a daughter and have now gone down the road to adoption. As little control as you had in the past , if the child turns out to be a boy , after the ultrasound stating that he was a girl, you are able to control whether you proceed or not. Granted, there are going to be a lot of emotions. Hopefully you have already thought about the possibility , and how you will handle the situation if it does occur, as it does happen. It is always preferable that you have discussed this scenario with the birth mother in advance. As disappointed as she will be at the birth that you are not going to accept her child, having a back up family in mind will assist in eliminating some of the stress that she is sure to go through. You , yourself, will have to deal with going home empty handed, after anticipating finally having a little girl. The other thing that needs to be discussed is the financial loss that you may incur. Many times, the agency or attorney that you are working with are able to rematch her with another family and roll over part of the expenses that were paid. Sometimes, however, the expectant mother takes the rejection as a sign , and ends up keeping the child, oftentimes without the means to meet their needs. We suggest that , if a particular gender is critical to you , that you go the extra mile and get a 3D ultrasound at a private service in addition to the medical ultrasound that you had based your match on. The cost of approximately $100 can save you thousands of dollars , much time, and a lot of heartache.